Sunday, October 23, 2016

When You Live Your Life, Things Happen

Those things that happen may be good things, they may be bad things, they may be so-so things. Or they may seem to be one, and are actually something else, altogether. A good thing may have been misunderstood, and you dealt with it in the incorrect way. Or a bad thing may actually teach your something you hadn't properly understood before, and you gain better understanding.

When those bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is curl up in a ball and hide from the event. Bad things are always things that require action to stop the harm for escalating. If the things is a medical related thing - a sprain for instance, using the sprained limb will make it worse not better, but it may be broken, so it will probably benefit from a doctor or nurse looking at it. And a sprain will need thought to rearrange chores, get assistance and so on.

If the bad thing is a misunderstanding, where you have been what you feel is wrongly accused of something, acknowledging the fact that the other person thinks you've done something wrong, gives them the satisfaction of knowing you heard what they think, and so feel somewhat validated. You may not agree with them, but having acknowledged their understood truth, you have no need to take it further, and argue about it. We all have the right to own our truth, as we see it.

If it turns out later on, that you were in fact wrong and the other person correct, don't just leave it along, acknowledge it, and you can both move on with your lives, neither holding angry thoughts about it (one hopes). If it turns out the other person wants to hold on to the thing, let that be there idea to hold, and let them go with it, neither arguing, or submitting to further abuse. You have done the right thing in your acknowledgement, it's the role of the other person to accept that.

Let the bad thing be something you can learn from. Be kind to yourself, but be prepared to learn from your mistakes ...