Those things that happen may be good things, they may be bad things, they may be so-so things. Or they may seem to be one, and are actually something else, altogether. A good thing may have been misunderstood, and you dealt with it in the incorrect way. Or a bad thing may actually teach your something you hadn't properly understood before, and you gain better understanding.
When those bad things happen, the worst thing you can do is curl up in a ball and hide from the event. Bad things are always things that require action to stop the harm for escalating. If the things is a medical related thing - a sprain for instance, using the sprained limb will make it worse not better, but it may be broken, so it will probably benefit from a doctor or nurse looking at it. And a sprain will need thought to rearrange chores, get assistance and so on.
If the bad thing is a misunderstanding, where you have been what you feel is wrongly accused of something, acknowledging the fact that the other person thinks you've done something wrong, gives them the satisfaction of knowing you heard what they think, and so feel somewhat validated. You may not agree with them, but having acknowledged their understood truth, you have no need to take it further, and argue about it. We all have the right to own our truth, as we see it.
If it turns out later on, that you were in fact wrong and the other person correct, don't just leave it along, acknowledge it, and you can both move on with your lives, neither holding angry thoughts about it (one hopes). If it turns out the other person wants to hold on to the thing, let that be there idea to hold, and let them go with it, neither arguing, or submitting to further abuse. You have done the right thing in your acknowledgement, it's the role of the other person to accept that.
Let the bad thing be something you can learn from. Be kind to yourself, but be prepared to learn from your mistakes ...
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Monday, August 1, 2016
4 Ways to Win In Life
Thank the others involved in your successes
Be prepared to accept blame when appropriate
Always offer sincere apologise as needed
Be grateful when things go well
These are a few thoughts that have occurred to me, in response to reading a post on Facebook concerning the idea of ‘Three things that will guarantee you do badly in life’ or something similar to that. It seemed to me looking at life in a negative way wouldn't lead to a happy life, even if it led to you being aware of the things that can go wrong.
I would always rather see the good things in life, not the bad things, even though I am certainly conscious of the possibility of bad things happening. So anyway, I'm glad I wrote my list of ways to win in life, rather ways to make yourself lose.
I have recently been involved in a successful event held in a town quite close to where I live. This event the Gawler Festival of Words, was held over three days and two nights, and much fun and learning happened. Words were spoken, films views, works written, and a train ride was had after viewing some art in an Art Gallery (Gawler Community Gallery).
There was also yummy food and drink consumed, books launched, and hugs given! I think upholding the four principles as listed about, helped in the process of making this Festival great. We (the Adelaide Plains Poets) also successfully held this event last year, and we are already planning what is going to happen at the Festival next year!
I am the leader of the team, and I sincerely thank them for all of their work getting this happening! Passionate people all working for the same cause can make wonderful things happen! We worked at 'spreading the love' by using three different venues for catering, and made sure those people involved knew how much we appreciated them.
So to the people at the P/A Hotel, the Poetic Justice Cafe Gallery and the Alchemy Cafe, all in Gawler, I thank you very much for helping to make the 2016 Gawler Festival of Words a fantastic event!
Be prepared to accept blame when appropriate
Always offer sincere apologise as needed
Be grateful when things go well
These are a few thoughts that have occurred to me, in response to reading a post on Facebook concerning the idea of ‘Three things that will guarantee you do badly in life’ or something similar to that. It seemed to me looking at life in a negative way wouldn't lead to a happy life, even if it led to you being aware of the things that can go wrong.
I would always rather see the good things in life, not the bad things, even though I am certainly conscious of the possibility of bad things happening. So anyway, I'm glad I wrote my list of ways to win in life, rather ways to make yourself lose.
I have recently been involved in a successful event held in a town quite close to where I live. This event the Gawler Festival of Words, was held over three days and two nights, and much fun and learning happened. Words were spoken, films views, works written, and a train ride was had after viewing some art in an Art Gallery (Gawler Community Gallery).
There was also yummy food and drink consumed, books launched, and hugs given! I think upholding the four principles as listed about, helped in the process of making this Festival great. We (the Adelaide Plains Poets) also successfully held this event last year, and we are already planning what is going to happen at the Festival next year!
I am the leader of the team, and I sincerely thank them for all of their work getting this happening! Passionate people all working for the same cause can make wonderful things happen! We worked at 'spreading the love' by using three different venues for catering, and made sure those people involved knew how much we appreciated them.
So to the people at the P/A Hotel, the Poetic Justice Cafe Gallery and the Alchemy Cafe, all in Gawler, I thank you very much for helping to make the 2016 Gawler Festival of Words a fantastic event!
Friday, February 19, 2016
Be Kind to Yourself First!
There are people out there who do many good things for many people, or do amazingly good things on one particular person. We celebrate these people, and thank them sometimes, (and sometimes not). Regardless of the celebrations and thanks though, these amazing kind people keep on doing their kind things, because that's the kind of people they are.
If you are one of these lovely kind people, whether a worker, volunteer,
loved one or community member, thank you very much. Your actions deserve to be front page news, because it's people like you who make our lives worth living. You help out for little or no pay, you step in and do things when needed, where others would step away and do nothing.
Your are kind to many, and possible too few thank you for all you do. The thanks are not why you do the kind things you do, you simply believe in doing the right and kind thing. I thank you for the good and kind things you do, You help to make the whole world a better place for all, because you show everyone around you that good things happen, and believing in the possibility of good can warm our hearts and keep us going when things seem too hard.
So, many thanks you, you wonderful kind people, but ... There's always a but, isn't there. This is an important one, please pay attention to this ... Doing good for others is a wonderful thing to do, but the most important person you must always remember to do good things for, the person you should be kind to first, is YOURSELF!
If you're always too busy being kind to other people, and never have any time left to do good things for yourself, you will burn out, the well of kindness will dry up and you will eventually not be able to do anything at all, no good things and no kind actions, you will have run out of the good things. The best way to refill your well of kindness is to top it up regularly, and the easiest way to keep on top of that is to do good things for yourself first!
Yes YOU, put your name at the top of the list of people to be kind to, to good things for, because when you are kind to yourself, you have more to give to other people. Being good to yourself doesn't drain the well of kindness, it fills it up. So when your a parent, and you want to reward your child with something yummy, because they've done something well, Get yourself something yummy too.
If you're helping someone with their garden, or their shopping, get something good for yourself from the garden - a flower, a strawberry, a cutting, or buy yourself something extra while you're buying the shopping for the other person.
If you're taking someone out for the day, why not take them somewhere you want to go too, not just where they want to go. The kinder you are to yourself, the happier and more productive you'll be, give it a try, and see for yourself!
If you are one of these lovely kind people, whether a worker, volunteer,
Your are kind to many, and possible too few thank you for all you do. The thanks are not why you do the kind things you do, you simply believe in doing the right and kind thing. I thank you for the good and kind things you do, You help to make the whole world a better place for all, because you show everyone around you that good things happen, and believing in the possibility of good can warm our hearts and keep us going when things seem too hard.
So, many thanks you, you wonderful kind people, but ... There's always a but, isn't there. This is an important one, please pay attention to this ... Doing good for others is a wonderful thing to do, but the most important person you must always remember to do good things for, the person you should be kind to first, is YOURSELF!
If you're always too busy being kind to other people, and never have any time left to do good things for yourself, you will burn out, the well of kindness will dry up and you will eventually not be able to do anything at all, no good things and no kind actions, you will have run out of the good things. The best way to refill your well of kindness is to top it up regularly, and the easiest way to keep on top of that is to do good things for yourself first!
Yes YOU, put your name at the top of the list of people to be kind to, to good things for, because when you are kind to yourself, you have more to give to other people. Being good to yourself doesn't drain the well of kindness, it fills it up. So when your a parent, and you want to reward your child with something yummy, because they've done something well, Get yourself something yummy too.
If you're helping someone with their garden, or their shopping, get something good for yourself from the garden - a flower, a strawberry, a cutting, or buy yourself something extra while you're buying the shopping for the other person.
If you're taking someone out for the day, why not take them somewhere you want to go too, not just where they want to go. The kinder you are to yourself, the happier and more productive you'll be, give it a try, and see for yourself!
Saturday, December 19, 2015
Give Life a Try!
If it doesn't hurt you or anyone you care about, and it's something you want to do,then do it, or you may end up regretting it for the rest of your life!
Being afraid to try a new thing is sometimes the most terrible thing in life. If you end your life regretting not doing something, can you say you lived a great life?
Puppies learn what tastes good, by chewing on things, they get to eat more tasty things that way!
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Stop & Let the Sunshine In
When life kicks you down, and you go on again and again travelling the same dark and dirty roads, you'll never heal. Step out into life's sunshine, and let the sun shine its healing light down on you.
Healing takes time, and if you go on and on doing the wrong thing, stupid things, things that have hurt you in the past, you won't have time to heal. When you take the time to rest, be mindful - look at what's wrong in your life, then you may have time to heal from the pain you're suffering from.
So look around you, see who's doing well, and what it is they're doing. Can you change what you're doing in life, and take on some of what they're doing? Find the things that bring true happiness to your life. Flowers, puppies, kittens, friends, good food.
Whatever it is, try to get more of it. Don't concern yourself with other people, concern yourself with yourself. When you learn to care about yourself, in truly caring ways, ways that bring good things to your heart and soul, then you can beging the healing process.
Healing takes time, and if you go on and on doing the wrong thing, stupid things, things that have hurt you in the past, you won't have time to heal. When you take the time to rest, be mindful - look at what's wrong in your life, then you may have time to heal from the pain you're suffering from.
So look around you, see who's doing well, and what it is they're doing. Can you change what you're doing in life, and take on some of what they're doing? Find the things that bring true happiness to your life. Flowers, puppies, kittens, friends, good food.
Whatever it is, try to get more of it. Don't concern yourself with other people, concern yourself with yourself. When you learn to care about yourself, in truly caring ways, ways that bring good things to your heart and soul, then you can beging the healing process.
Monday, April 20, 2015
Science can be Sooooo Cruel!
http://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/apr/18/animal-lives-wasted-in-drugs-safety-tests?CMP=ema_632
I found this article talking about the creatures who gave their lives in scientific experiments that didn't offer much of use to science, online recently. In a properly designed and funded experiment, the lives of animals may be worthwhile, but the article talks of experiments that are poorly designed and run in a number of ways.
These animals of course were probably bred for the purpose of assisting in scientific experiments, but that doesn't mean their lives can just be wasted on useless experimentation. The article focuses on the UK, but I expect the truth is that it's a worldwide thing, with rats, mice and other creatures dying for little good.
Just because scientific experimentation was why they were brought into the world doesn't mean having them die in this useless way is OK. The whole idea of the ways humans use and abuse animals is a fraught one. On the one hand, humans are the ones who undertake to bring these creatures into existence for the purpose of assisting them with their work.
On the other hand though, all creatures have some rights, don't they? Some lobby groups would say they most certainly do, others may be more equivocal about the issue. Other groups might say, they're only critters, who cares?
I have to confess I'm in the equivocal group. I believe that animals can play a useful part in scientific experimentation, and the endeavour is one that whould continue, for the betterment of mankind. But if these small lives are wasted, with no useful result for mankind, I am dead-set against it. Is this too namby-pamby? Should I rise up against this?
I am against animal cruelty, but I live with four dogs, and I have been involved in the breeding of dogs for pets and for showing in the past. Some animal rights groups (PETA in particulare) are against the keeping of animals as companions, and they feel they should be set free. I completely oppose this idea. I do my best to give my dogs a good life, with food, shelter and love. If I set my dogs free, Idon't think they would be happier in the long run than they are now, living with us.
I don't know all of the answers, but I hope that by writing this article, I may get others thinking further on the issue ... I welcome the thoughts of others on these issues.
I found this article talking about the creatures who gave their lives in scientific experiments that didn't offer much of use to science, online recently. In a properly designed and funded experiment, the lives of animals may be worthwhile, but the article talks of experiments that are poorly designed and run in a number of ways.
These animals of course were probably bred for the purpose of assisting in scientific experiments, but that doesn't mean their lives can just be wasted on useless experimentation. The article focuses on the UK, but I expect the truth is that it's a worldwide thing, with rats, mice and other creatures dying for little good.
Just because scientific experimentation was why they were brought into the world doesn't mean having them die in this useless way is OK. The whole idea of the ways humans use and abuse animals is a fraught one. On the one hand, humans are the ones who undertake to bring these creatures into existence for the purpose of assisting them with their work.
On the other hand though, all creatures have some rights, don't they? Some lobby groups would say they most certainly do, others may be more equivocal about the issue. Other groups might say, they're only critters, who cares?
I have to confess I'm in the equivocal group. I believe that animals can play a useful part in scientific experimentation, and the endeavour is one that whould continue, for the betterment of mankind. But if these small lives are wasted, with no useful result for mankind, I am dead-set against it. Is this too namby-pamby? Should I rise up against this?
I am against animal cruelty, but I live with four dogs, and I have been involved in the breeding of dogs for pets and for showing in the past. Some animal rights groups (PETA in particulare) are against the keeping of animals as companions, and they feel they should be set free. I completely oppose this idea. I do my best to give my dogs a good life, with food, shelter and love. If I set my dogs free, Idon't think they would be happier in the long run than they are now, living with us.
I don't know all of the answers, but I hope that by writing this article, I may get others thinking further on the issue ... I welcome the thoughts of others on these issues.
Monday, December 22, 2014
How to Remember me when I Go
These are not my final words, I'm certainly not thinking of leaving this world just yet. When I go, I want it to happen after a full and happy life, and while my life is certainly a happy one, I still have many things I wish to do before the end.
But I've been thinking about things, about people I know, choices I've made, and others have made. Lots of poeple want to be remembered for big things - buildings designed, trophies won, and so forth. My ideas are different. I'm never going to build a house that amazes all, I don't ever want to build any house. And I'm never going to run races, and win in record times.
My garden has lovely things in it, but it's not the most gorgeous and amazing garden ever. I'm not breathtakingly gorgeous, or the sexiest little minx anyone could ever imagine. No, I'm none of these things. Nor am I an absolute genius who creates wonderful machines, or finds answers formerly unknown to mankind.
What I am, is a person who cares about other people. I'm quite good at listening quietly. Listening is a skill not all are able to do well. To listen, one must switch off their own mind chatter, and properly pay attention to the words spoken to you. And you must switch off your critic - your opinions and answers aren't needed at this listening stage.
Sometimes a kind and quiet listener can be the best thing for a troubled person. If you can fill that role, and do it well, you can be a life-saver. You can be the quiet hero, just because you cared enough to listen, just listen.
So when I do die, I hope at least some people will remember me as a good listener. That's all, just a good listener. Thank you.
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